Apple and Microsoft are guilty as hell

By ian

It’s true. I’ve been breaking the law for years. In fact, I broke the law just a few days ago and Microsoft helped. I copied an Mp3 file from my laptop to my Zune. According to new claims by the RIAA, I’m breaking the law by making any unauthorized copy of a CD, which includes ripping it to your hard drive for personal use.

In an effort to prevent a lawsuit, here’s a list of all the horribly illegal things I’ve done with my CDs.

• I copied several CD’s worth of MP3’s to my hard-drive.
• I copied all of said MP3’s onto my Zune (Microsoft even made a tool to help me do this!).
• I have copies of all of my MP3’s on both my XPS laptop and my iBook. (Thanks for helping me break the law Apple and Dell, I will be charging you a portion of any legal fees I might incur.)
• I told one of my co-workers to “Listen to this” while listening to the new Deftones Album. While this did result in him buying the album, I did not recieve written permission from Warner Brothers, Maverick Records or the Deftones.
• Last summer, I had my windows open while listening to a Lacuna Coil song and I’m pretty sure that at least a dozen people may have heard the song. I would like to apologize for this unauthorized public broadcast.
• While recording my answering machine message, you can faintly hear an Avenged Sevenfold track in the background. I have since, incinerated my answering machine and I’m currently trying to determine how many people may have heard the message so I can accurately calculate what roylaties I might owe.

At the moment, I’m trying to determine how I can prevent an further unruly behavior. All I  have to do is buy a few extra copies of my CDs. Here’s a quick tally for my Deftone’s CD.

• I need one copy for my Dell laptop, one for my iBook, and one for my desktop
• Next I should get one for my Zune and Kelley’s Zune
• Since I have fairly loud headphones, I should probably buy copies for the 2 other guys on the dev team. They might over hear what I’m listening to
• I should probably buy a copy for each of my neighbors too. They don’t really like the Deftones, but I want to make sure my bases are covered.

So, all I need to do is buy a dozen or so CDs and I should be safe. That’s only $200 per album, which is hardly worth complaining about.

I’m personally looking forward to the day that the major labels start begging for people to come back. At this rate, they’re losing consumers and artists fast enough that it should only be about a year away. The worst part about this whole situation is that it’s making it more and more difficult to make a living as musician.